Five Months

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Five months!  Five months!  We are one month away from having kept you alive long enough that the risk of SIDS is dramatically reduced!  That’s the good news.  The bad news – I still feel like I have no idea what I am doing.

You are an enigma, and I have yet to crack your baby code.  Our pediatrician asked us way back at your 2-month checkup if we had learned your different cries yet, because you apparently are supposed to have a different cry for hunger, tiredness, boredom, and discomfort.  All we hear is, “Waah!  I’m unhappy!  You figure out why!”

Your schedule is still a random mess.  The only consistency is that you wake up too early in the morning, you take super short cat naps during the day, you put up a fight at bedtime and wake up at least five times before you’re finally out for a good stretch of 2 – 4 hours.  You’re on a play-eat-play-eat-sleep schedule, because you are also a snacker who prefers to eat every 1.5 hours.  I try to stretch it out to 2, and usually I can if we are out and about, but at home, nothing’s worse than a whiny baby, so I just give in.

You are still a pretty adorable baby.  We have the Internets fooled that you are also a super happy baby because I have you trained to smile whenever I say “Cheese!” and hold up my iPhone to take your picture. (It works even better when I turn the clicker sound on.)  It’s a cool trick.  I should probably post more of your adorable whines and “unimpressed” stares.  Thankfully, you are more of a whiner than a crier, but I think that’s just for me.  You cry just fine for Daddy, or Grandma, or anyone else who is not your mama.  I still haven’t used our gym’s daycare, simply because I’m still too worried to leave you in the care of someone who doesn’t love you at least half as much as I do.  Unfortunately, all those people who love you live far away, so you haven’t had too many experiences being without your mommy.

Alright… without further ado.  I’ve kept notes on your 5th month, so these are some of your milestones and habits of late:

At your doctor’s visit on November 11th (4.5 mos old), you weighed 13 lbs 6 oz.  Not sure about height or head size because this wasn’t a well visit.  You had/have a rash on your belly.  The doc said something must have irritated your skin and to rub some Aquaphor on it.  The rash seemed to get better, but it came back and has spread to your legs and shoulders.  I am eliminating fabric softener altogether and have stopped wearing perfumes/body sprays to see if that will help.  You seemed to have inherited my sensitive skin.  Sorry.

You are wearing 6mo clothes now and have just graduated to Size 2 diapers.  Congrats!

On October 29th, you rolled over from your back to tummy for the first time.  And second time.  And third time.  Your daddy was actually the first to see you do it.  Nope, I wasn’t jealous at all…  We have not been able to catch it on video yet, you sneaky little lady.  You tend to roll when we’re not looking.  You know those movies and TV shows where the clueless parent/caregiver turns his/her head away for ONE SECOND and the baby disappears?  Yeah, that actually happens!  I had you on a blanket in the middle of the living room, looked away, and when I turned back, you had rolled yourself underneath an open cabinet door on the entertainment center.  And again, on the floor in your bedroom, you rolled and rolled until you were rudely stopped when you bonked your head on the crib.  I now have to put pillows around the furniture just in case you start tumbleweeding again.  Lately, though, I just lay you on your tummy, you promptly yourself to your back, and you’re good.

You grab your feet, and just yesterday got one in your mouth.  Hooray for you!

I finally clipped your fingernails for the first time on November 6th.  (Before I had just pulled them off when they started to tear.)  I will admit I used Baby Einstein to distract you while I held you in my lap.  I’m going to need a new tactic now, though, because you are a grabber and Baby Einstein ain’t cutting it.

You are a grabber.  You see it.  You want it.  In your mouth.  As of late, you prefer things you shouldn’t have.

Me:  Here, Ellis, have Sophie (your teether).

You:  No, thanks, Mom.  I want the remote/iPhone/Nook/nail clippers/your hand/restaurant menu/burp cloth/[…].

This also confirms my compulsion my wise decision to buy books instead of borrowing library books for you.  There are gnaw marks and crumpled lift-the-flaps on many of your books.

You have a death grip.  You get a hold of the skin on my arm, my face, my neck, and you pull.  Alex has learned to stay far away because he doesn’t put up with you pulling on his fur like Mommy and Daddy do.  You try to grab everything you see – Daddy’s glasses, my nose, the little cutesy characters on your mobile.  I keep a toy at the changing table now because otherwise you grab my arm, or the skin on it, and beyond it being painful, it also prevents me from completing the job at hand.

All the books say not to look at your baby when you’re trying to put her to sleep.  As usual, they’re wrong. [They are wrong about so many things, but that could be another post entirely!]  You demand that I stare at you so that you can confidently close your eyes and fall asleep. Sometimes you peek and make sure I’m looking.

Other times, you talk yourself to sleep.  Babble, babble, babble.  Silence.

And still other times, you whine yourself to sleep.  Whine, whine, whine.  Sleep.

You have somehow mastered the art of whining and smiling at the same time.

I think your first word might be “boof.”

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